Amends to Self

1. You deserve your joy and your pleasure. 

2. You are allowed to move slow. 

3. You are allowed to take up space. 

4. Accept yourself, even accept the resistance to self. 

5. Winter is a time to rest. 

6. No more sex with people who don't deserve your power.  

7. No more dating people who shove away their emotions. 

8. If they boosts about their integrity, they probably don’t have much. Leave immediately. 

9. If they say “I love you” too quick, even if they think you didn’t hear it, leave immediately. 

10. No more alcoholics. 

11. You deserve attention. 

12. You don’t have to fight for attention. 

13. You deserve love. 

14. You don’t have to earn love. 

15. Move slow, that way you can see what you are getting into. 

16. You can’t solve for everything, sometimes you will make mistakes. 

17. Spiritual growth is at the center of all mistakes, therefore making mistakes is not real. 

18. Go where it’s warm.

19. Go where you are celebrated, not tolerated. 

20. No more poly. For now. 

21. Pray for integrity and give thanks when you follow it, even if you’d rather throw dog shit in the back of someone’s car. Thank God when you don’t stoop so low. 

22. Anger is not a defect. 

23. Cookies for breakfast are okay sometimes. 

24. Quit giving so much to men who don’t deserve it. 

25. Quit giving yourself away too quickly. 

26. Quit taking responsibility for other peoples actions. 

27. Quit taking people’s action personally. They are probably hurt in ways even they can’t see. 

28. Quit believing you did someone wrong that made someone treat you badly. Adults communicate with people they are in relationship with. 

29. Slow down. You deserve to experience your version of reality. 

30. Follow the breadcrumbs into your life. There is beauty awaiting you there. 

31. Let go of the deeply negative self talk, it no longer serves you. 

32. Be gentle to the part of you that believe you are bad and don’t deserve anything nice. This part also served a purpose. 

33. Accept yourself. Even the parts of you that you don’t accept. Even the resistance to acceptance. 

34. Be cautious with charismatic people. They are often covering up something about themselves. 

35. Keep listening to the small voice inside. It is actually not so small anymore. It is loud and clear and has profound wisdom there. 

36. Apologies are not amends. Amends change behavior while apologies are platitudes. 

37. Questions are different than answers. Keep questioning, even if you find an answer. 

38. When you quit pleasing people they aren’t pleased. You don’t need to people please. 

39. Be cautious of other’s who people please. They probably aren’t pleased. 

40. You can’t make everyone happy. 

41. It’s okay to tell people they are making you uncomfortable. 

42. It’s okay to ask men to leave your garage sale when they randomly start talking about rape and using tasers during sex. 

43. It’s okay to be tired. 

44. It’s okay to refuse work that is depleting and doesn’t compensate you for what you are worth. 

45. It’s okay to not be profound all the time. 

46. It’s okay if you don’t get lots of praise from the world around you—still love yourself. 

47. It’s okay if you are not interesting to everyone. Some people will like you a lot. 

48. You don’t need to be close to people who don’t like you. 

49. You don’t have to be open all the time. Sometimes you can be shut off and quiet and that’s okay too. 

50. Not everyone is going to like you. 

51. The sun will always love you back. 

52. You don’t have to be perfect, just be perfectly who you are. 

53. You don’t have to like going to bars. But if you do go, remember they are usually a place for people to express their feelings in uncouth ways. It has nothing to do with you. 

54. It’s okay to not like all your tattoos. 

55. It’s okay too go out too much. 

56. It’s okay to not go out a lot. 

57. Slowing down is advantageous for your health. And everyone else’s too. 

58. You can’t donate to every cause. 

59. You can’t show up for every ask. 

60. You can’t help everyone in need. 

61. Remember that love bombing will probably end up in ghosting. Leave immediately. 

62. You are not the arbiter of justice. You will likely have no idea how someone’s bad behavior towards you will effect their life and consciousness. 

63. Pray for those that hurt you. They are hurting too. 

64. Slow down so you can reflect a little easier. 

65. No one is perfect. 

66. Writing will always be your friend. Never screw up this relationship by studying it at an institution. Institutions will only make you insecure and conformist. 

67. THERE IS NO SUCH THINGS AS BAD ART. THERE IS NO SUCH THINGS AS GOOD ART. Art is beyond definition. There is only art that resonates inside you, and art that doesn’t penetrate the deepest part of your soul. 

68. Celebrate other’s victories because they are celebrating the “Yes” inside themselves and that helps us all. That gives you permission and reminds you to do the same. Find inspiration in other’s Yes.

69. Remember to pray to the ancestors and give thanks to the invisible world for holding you and holding us and giving this planet everything it needs. 

70. Remember you can’t solve all the worlds problems. Get right with yourself then create change within the space of your community. Watch the miracles grow. 

71. Keep asking questions. 

72. Keep seeking people who are seeking. 

73. Keep seeking for love and also remember you don’t have to seek out love because love is all around you. 

74. Open your heart. But allow it to be closed if you need that too. 

75. It’s okay to be made fun of but make sure those who are making fun of you are also concerned if they’ve gone too far and that they are using their gabs as as way to gain closeness and connection. 

76. Slow down.

77. Take a nap for goodness sake. 

78. Forgiveness isn’t about the other person, it’s about forgiving yourself for playing out what ever patterns ended you up in a bad situation. Love those patterns. Nature lives inside patterns. 

79. It’s okay you don’t understand all the features of your computer and struggle to make certain things work. 

80. It’s okay to laugh at yourself. Actually it’s preferable because it means that you aren’t taking yourself too seriously and that is usually the catalyst for change. 

81. It’s okay that you have squandered an incredible amount of money over the years on nothing in particular. This will change. 

82. It’s okay that you needed material resources to feel okay. Things can change. Things have changed. 

83. It’s okay to cut your loses. 

84. Remember you can sit in the eye of a storm and it is calm there. Your inner reality can be serene even if the outer one is storms. 

85. You don’t have to be smart all the time. Or even any of the time. Being smart is also a trap. 

86. Take a breath when you feel too high. 

87. Take a breath when you feel too low. 

88. Morning meetings are the best.

89. When you get in your head go for a walk or make a call or go see a friend. 

90. Feelings aren’t facts. 

91. Returning gifts is okay sometimes. 

92. Selling expensive gifts is okay sometimes. 

93. It’s okay to not be spiritual all the time. But remember to always come back to your spiritual grounding because that is the only thing that makes your life work. 

94. It’s okay to wondering if your last date is fucking his ex again because suddenly his car parked outside her house at night which is around the corner from where you live, which makes it’s extra weird that he would ghost you because obviously you’d run into each other sometimes. And it’s okay to wonder if he disclosed to her how he was such a douche bag to you and if you should tell her about his behavior cause femme’s gotta look out for femmes in this world. 

95. It’s also okay to laugh when your last date almost runs into a garbage truck trying to get away from you when he sees you on the street because he treated you like trash and now he’s stuck behind a trash truck hopefully contemplating his trashy behavior. 

96. It’s okay to get your feelings out. 

97. It’s okay to be hurt by other’s behavior. 

98. It’s okay to be obsessed with your anger when you have no answers but are forced to interact with the entity of the last person who hurt you. 

99. It’s okay to never think of that person again. 

100. It's okay to let go, to remember the world is a mirror. Give thanks for what you see because it is showing you where you are still hurt, where you are growing, where you have’t treated yourself right, where you have accepted unacceptable behavior, where you owe yourself compassion, where you need to stop and listen, where the small voice inside is pointing you in a new direction, where doors are opening, where doors are closing, where love is pouring, where you’ve changed and blessed, blessed be, the world is giving opportunity to be a better person, or really, just a different person cause people ain’t products and there is no “new and improved” there is just space for evolution, shedding, rebirth and transmutation.