End of Life Care and Grief Rituals

By and large American culture has lost its connection to both ancestral worship and the sacred act of collective grieving. Loss of all kinds is a right of passage and grief is the natural outcome to loss. Grief is in fact love. Grief is our duty and privilege because it represent our ability to be present to life and our connection to the invisible world, the world that awaits us and the world that guides us. Our bodies are a small corner of the universe and in the tapestry of life we need to acknowledge the symbiotic relationship between the veils in order to function with harmony. To die well and to grieve well is to live well.

It is with in mind that I have been called to interact in the realms of death and grief.

Death coaching and after death care:

5-10 coaching sessions. We will talk through five domains of life (physical, emotional, spiritual, practical, and mental), and help you find peace and closure with places that might feel stuck. This is also a time to flush out any area of your life that might feel unsettled.
A vigil ceremony. We will work together to find a way to honor your body and life that feels authentic to you. It is a way for you to get clear on how you want your body to be honored and can be a way to connect your loved ones to what truly mattes to you.
A legacy project. This is a co-collaborated experience where we create something to leave behind. This may be done with writing, art, recordings, song or any other creative desire you have to honor your life. This is for you to express yourself to the world after your body has passed.
Resources. Death and dying is new for all of us. We only get one chance to die in these bodies and there are so many ways that can look. I will help you find the right resources for you, whether that is having a green burial, water burial, demystifying the stages of death, or connecting to your ancestry as you make your way into the spirit world.

Grief cirlces:

Ritual grief circles. (Up to 12 people). This is a sacred group container offered as a way to support people going through big emotions. The space is held with myself and two others outside of the city and around a fire. The circle last upwards of 6 hours. During this time we move from a educational space around grief (Francis Weller's "Five gates of grief" will be discussed), to sharing what grief we are holding, to a time to emote and release. This is a time to wail and cry, scream and pound the earth. Song and poems are threaded throughout the experience as a way to clear energy and ground, as well as time to eat together and possibly find space for collective celebration and joy.
Six week long grief circle. (Up to 6 people).This space is created for people who are not necessary in acute grief, but looking to create space to sit in community support during their time of grief. We meet once a week for two and a half hours. Each week will have a different prompt (story sharing, item sharing, letter writing, etc) in which we come together to be witness to one another during our time of grief.
Bodywork and grief space. This is an extended time together in which we get to discuss the clients grief a little more in depth, say prayers, light a candle and receive the healing power of touch while moving through emotions.

Reach out here to get more information.

Relevant trainings:

The Conscious Dying Institute--Death Doula and Coach, January-June 2022.
Pacific Healing Circle, Staying the Course, with Mary Hart and Siena Cairns--Online grief tending circle, November 2022-April 2023
Grief Tending Mentorship, with Therese Charvet, Laurence Cole, Tere Carranza & Mary Hart--Online and in-person January-May 2023
Grief Support Group Facilitator Training, with James Boudreaux--A five month grief circle training. This training was developed by James Boudreaux and others to bring into Louisiana prisons for peer support. This model is currently being used at 5 Louisiana prisons, including Angola State Penitentiary . Our class was the first time it was offered outside of the prison setting. September 2023-January 2024

My story with death and grief

When I was 17 I lost my father to Parkinson's disease and at the time there was no service for him, no funeral, no wake, no memorial. I write about this in depth here. It was more than two decades later that I realized the impact of that loss on my life. Through this journey, I've been awakened to the profound grief in me and all around me, some stemming from physical loss of a person, but also the tremendous loss we experience from being disconnected from land and our ancestry.

There are many paths of liberation, but moving through death, loss, and grief has become particularly important for me. Most of us in the West have lost our connection to ancestral traditions when dealing with loss and the unmoved pain stirs us, blocks us, and sometimes causes harm. It is my belief that creating circumstances for a good death and holding space for big emotions like loss, regret, grief, and even joy, can begin to reshape our history and heal our past, present and future. Death is not something to be ignored, glossed over, or forgotten about. Death is part of our life and it is our birthright to be connected to it and for our lives to be honored and respected in all stages.